Ode To '92

Wimbledon champ Andre Agassi
Was unable to dress so Las Vegassy.
O'Brien no-heighted;
Tyson no-fighted;
Ninety-two left quite a legacy:

The Fabulous Five from Michigan
Hope Duke won't fillet "em like fish again.
The Pens won the Cup,
A flag flew downside-up,
And Jordan was granted his wish again.

Da Bulls were da NBA champs;
Michael lit up da Blazers like lamps.
Orlando took Shaq ,
Paid him serious jack,
Now he's licking opponents like stamps.

Magic and Larry retired,
Admired by those they inspired.
And Dan Biasone,
Who'll forever be known
As the Shot-Clock Inventor, expired.

Al Unser Jr. won Indy,
The Broad Street Bullies won Lindy,
And the lesson they'll teach
Now at brisk Pebble Beach
Is a Kite always flies when its windy.

Fay Vincent banished Steve Howe ,
But somehow Howe never said, "Ciao."
And the owner of Schottzie
Denied she's a Nazi.
For baseball, two kicks in the trou.

Super Bowl headline: SKINS WIN IT.
It was over within the first minute:
Thurman T. lost his hat,
And stranger than that,
When he found it, his head was still in it.

In college, who's No. 1 rated?
The answer is always debated.
The Tide and the 'Canes
Won all of their games
Without having livestock castrated.

The Heisman went to Gino Torretta ,
But Marshall Faulk , we all know you're betta.
As for Garrison Hearst ,
It could have been worse.
At least he received a letta swetta.

Lil E. Tee, phone home.
While you're at it, phone Manon Rheaume.
She was in goal
Before you were a foal
Or a gleam in the eye of this poem.