Scorecard

Political Animals
Former NFL receiver Steve Largent recently won the Republican nomination for the U.S. House seat from Oklahoma's 1st district. He is the latest to follow in the footsteps of such athletes turned politicos as Bill Bradley, Jack Kemp and Tom McMillen. Several other sports figures are either pursuing or rumored to be pursuing elective office. Herewith our campaign analyses.
Athlete	Office	Political Liability	Campaign Slogan	Campaign Theme Song	First Act In Office
Charles Barkley, Phoenix Sun forward	Considering a run for governor of Alabama	Well-known clashes with Godzilla could lead to trade problems with Japan	I don't wanna be your role model, but I do wanna be your governor	Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf	Issue himself blanket pardon for all past and future nightclub indiscretions
Richard Petty, NASCAR legend	The King says he may run for the North Carolina senate	Tendency to go around in circles; handlers are the pits	STP: Strength Through Petty	Crawling from the Wreckage by Dave Edmunds	Raise speed limit to 135 mph
Joe Bugner, former heavyweight contender	Contemplating a run for the state parliament in Australia	Human-punching-bag image may fail to inspire voters	I've taken the shots, now I want to call them	Hurts So Good by John Cougar	Change the three-knockdown rule to the nine-knockdown rule
Pelé, soccer legend	Seen as potential president of Brazil	Annoying practice of referring to himself in the third person	His goooooallll is good government	Alive & Kicking by Simple Minds	Charge national debt off on MasterCard
Arnold Schwarzenegger, bodybuilding thespian	Former fitness czar is touted as a possible future governor of California	Monosyllabic delivery: Strangelovean accent: The Last Action Hero	Terminate unemployment, pump up girly-man economy	Physical by Olivia Newton-John	Declare English a second language
Roberto Duran, ring immortal	Ran unsuccessfully for assembly seat in Panama; may run again	Past image as a lightweight	Say no más to bad government	Mama Said Knock You Out by L.L. Cool J: anything by Duran Duran	Raise middleweight limit to 225 pounds
Big Daddy Don Garlits, drag racing giant	Running for Congress in Florida	Raft of unpaid speeding tickets	Big Daddy is watching	Hot Rod Lincoln by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen	Eliminate all emission standards and noise-control ordinances
Nolan Ryan, strikeout king	Rumors that he may run for governor of Texas	Unpolished communication skills; tendency to brush back critics	Nolan: He won't throw you a curve	Old Man down the Road by John Fogerty	Vigorously support three-strikes-and-you're-out crime bill
Karl Malone, Utah Jazz forward	Has entertained thoughts of running for mayor of Salt Lake City	Large collection of technical fouls	A forward-thinking forward	Please Mr. Postman by the Marvelettes	Mandate that the Mormon Tabernacle Choir expand its jazz repertoire

Black Eyes for the Buckeyes

Ohio State's once-proud basketball program has fallen on hard times. Last season the Buckeyes had a 13-16 record and failed, for the first time since Randy Ayers took over as coach in 1989, to qualify for postseason play. But far worse is Ohio State's record off the court.

The trouble began in May 1993 when Damon Flint, a 6'5" swing-man and incoming freshman, was ruled ineligible after at least 17 NCAA violations were tied to his recruitment. Flint has since enrolled at Cincinnati.

Charles Macon, a 6'7" forward and a former Indiana Mr. Basketball, has pleaded guilty to theft, drunken driving and marijuana possession after a March incident in which he pumped $16.30 worth of gasoline into his car and drove off without paying. He received a suspended sentence and is serving a year's probation. Ayers suspended him for the 1994-95 season, and he has since flunked out of school.

In April the scholarship of Gerald Faker, the projected starting center this season, was lifted after he shot out the tire of a car owned by teammate Antonio Watson. Eaker has since left Ohio State.

Also in April, Rickey Dudley, a forward-center as well as a tight end on the Buckeye football team, was charged with drunken driving. When he failed to pay $300 in fines and $69 in court costs, a warrant was issued last week for his arrest. Only then did he pay, and, as of Monday he was still on the team.

Since March junior guard Greg Simpson has been involved in a series of incidents (an arrest for drunken driving, which he plea-bargained, an assault charge that was dropped, driving Eaker away from the scene after Eaker fired the shots into Watson's tire and, most recently, a fight with a former girlfriend that resulted in calls being made to police) that have put his career in limbo. Simpson was already under indefinite suspension from the team before his latest indiscretion.

Ayers's troubles don't end there. Derek Anderson, a 6'6" swingman who was probably the Buckeyes' best player, transferred to Kentucky. Nate Wilbourne, a 6'11" center, transferred to the University of South Carolina in April. And Dudley is probably headed for a postseason bowl with the football team and won't rejoin the basketball program until January.

Sadly, the Buckeye basketball team is not the only misbehaving bunch on campus—three football players (not including Dudley) have been in trouble with the law. Noseguard Timiko Payton and offensive tackle Eric Moss were arrested in June and later indicted on felony charges after they were accused of stealing an ATM card. Moss plea-bargained and is still on the team. And kicker Mike Malfatt, who is also still on the roster, spent one night in jail and is awaiting trial for allegedly stealing $445 worth of goods from a Columbus discount store on July 26.

Shell-shocked athletic director Andy Geiger has stuck behind both Ayers and football coach John Cooper. And his inclination has been to show leniency to the players, particularly in the case of Simpson. "We're in the kid business," said Geiger last week. "If we can save Greg from himself, we will have done a good job."