40 For The (dark) Ages

32. LaRue Martin. First player chosen in the 1972 NBA draft-ahead of Bob McAdoo, Paul Westphal and Julius Erving—he averaged 5.3 points a game in a four-year NBA career.

31. Ickey Woods. Once a shuffling fullback phenom; now what you get when you spill a Big Gulp into your golf bag.

30. Rudy Martzke. USA Today TV columnist is a sawed-off Hedda Hopper of the 1990s.

29. Laura Baugh. Hundreds of endorsements. Zero LPGA wins.

28. Richard M. Nixon. Called plays for Washington Redskins, declared college football national champions, talked sports with Vietnam protesters, liked Checkers.

27. Eddie the Eagle. Ernie from My Three Sons grew up and decided to try Olympic ski jumping.

26. The three slobs who accidentally got up and stretched at the same time at a University of Washington football game, thus creating the dreaded Wave.

25. Jeff and Tonya Gillooly. Fun couple of the era.

24. Ken Burns. The man who managed to do the impossible—make a documentary about baseball that is longer and slower-paced than the game itself.

23. Alan Dershowitz. "Hi. This is Alan. If you're calling me, it's too late."