The Zapper

We sure do envy Tony Danza—and not just because he probably has Alyssa Milano's phone number. On his new, eponymously titled sitcom ( NBC, Wednesdays, 8 p.m.), the erstwhile cabbie (Taxi) and housekeeper (Who's the Boss?) falls to a new occupational low, portraying Tony DiMeo, a New York-based sportswriter unlike any we know. Well-dressed, well-coiffed, residing in a posh Manhattan high-rise with his two daughters, technophobe Danza also employs his own lustworthy personal assistant (Maria Canals), to whom he dictates his copy. Memo to Danza: We sportswriters don't compose our stories in the same cursory manner in which we would a grocery list. Then again, we usually order out or eat at the ballpark.