Playing With A Heavy Heart

Marian Hossa would rather not talk about the accident. The Ottawa Senators left wing will, however, talk about anything else. As his teammates filtered out of the dressing room after practice last Friday, on the eve of a 5-1 loss to the Toronto Maple Leafs in Game 2 of an Eastern Conference playoff series, Hossa sat in his stall and spoke of the 800-year-old castle that looms over his native Trencin, Slovakia . He spoke of the clothing factory where his mother, Maria, worked as a designer. In fractured English the 21-year-old talked about his first season in North America , 1997-98, with the Portland Winter Hawks of the Western Hockey League ; his teammates were "great guys" who taught him English and only occasionally got mad on long bus trips when he kept asking, "What did he say?" while they watched movies on the VCR.

The words pour forth until the conversation turns to Maple Leafs defenseman Bryan Berard . A muscle in Hossa's jaw twitches as he stares across the room, and tears well in his eyes. Hossa will not remember his second NHL campaign as the one in which he became a rising star in the league. He will remember it as the season in which he possibly terminated the career of Berard . In fact, Hossa will never forget the events of March 11, 2000.

The Leafs played at Ottawa 's Corel Centre that evening, and with less than five minutes remaining in the second period, Hossa was in the Toronto zone. Play was moving up ice, but there was a turnover and the puck came rolling back to him. Unaware that Berard was behind him, Hossa spun and swung awkwardly at the puck. On his follow-through the heel of his stick struck the right eye of Berard , who fell to the ice and lay kicking in agony, bleeding profusely from a half-inch laceration across the eyeball. He was rushed to Ottawa General Hospital, where doctors operated that night. According to Berard 's agent, Tom Laidlaw, the physicians came close to removing the eye. "They were having difficulty stopping the bleeding," says Laidlaw. "They didn't think there was much chance of saving the eye."

Since then Berard has undergone two additional operations, and now he can discern light and shapes. At home in Cranston , R.I. , now, Berard hopes to regain some vision and resume his career. ( NHL rules prohibit someone who is blind in one eye from playing.) Nothing would make Hossa happier than to have Berard back on the ice.

Hossa's career was threatened when he blew out his left knee in his last game as a Winter Hawk in '98. Torturous as that rehab was, the hardest thing Hossa has ever done was walk into Berard 's hospital room on March 12. As Berard lay in bed, his eye heavily bandaged, he extended his hand to Hossa, who tearfully told him he was sorry, that it had been an accident. As Hossa wept, Berard was gracious, telling him, "It's not your fault. Stuff happens."

Hossa, however, was not easily consoled. Following the accident the normally gregarious Hossa became subdued, his play tentative. After scoring 27 goals through March 11, he had only two in the remaining 13 regular-season games. "There's no question it weighed on him," says Ottawa assistant coach Perry Pearn.

Maria traveled from Trencin to visit her son, and Hossa's former coach in Portland , Mike Williamson, phoned. Hossa's teammates tried to boost his spirits, and he was helped by Ottawa scout John Phelan, who has a master's in psychology. "Of course he's going to feel bad," says Phelan, "but you have to get past it. You see guys do things with intent to injure. This was accidental."

Though it was obvious that Hossa did not intentionally injure Berard , some observers feel that Hossa nevertheless was reckless and deserved to be suspended. The rules state that players must be in control of their sticks. That Hossa allowed his stick to rise too high, with tragic consequences, will forever haunt him. Asked last week how often he thinks of Berard , he looked miserable and said, "It's getting better."

In the second period of Game 1 against the Maple Leafs last week, Hossa had a chance to tie the score after picking a defenseman's pocket and then deking Toronto goaltender Curtis Joseph to the ice. But Hossa failed to finish the play when the puck dribbled off his stick on the backhand. The Maple Leafs won that game 2-0, and Hossa's missed chance was mentioned frequently the next day. Pearn says that Hossa made "a great play to create that chance. He was a half inch from scoring a brilliant goal. In a split second he can change a game."

Hossa knows too well what else can change in a split second.