The Show

Did you see Glen Campbell wearing a Diamondbacks jersey in his DWI mug shot? Are you like me? Were you afraid he was compensation in the Curt Schilling deal?

MICHAEL VICK RETURNS TO FALCONS LINEUP
Now Dan Reeves can switch from Prozac back to Zocor.

Elsewhere, the Ravens beat the 49ers. And I don't get this. After the game Paul Tagliabue ordered Brian Billick to take 39 seconds less in the shower.

All four teams that played on Thanksgiving wore throwback jerseys. And Jerry Jones wore his original face from Super Bowl XXVII.

Fox's holiday pregame show featured a segment, The Making of a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. Jillian Barberie did the interviews, and Keyshawn Johnson gave a tour through a silicone plant.

The league chastised Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil after he promised a bottle of wine to Morten Andersen if he kicked a game-winning field goal against the Raiders, saying it constituted a performance bonus. Not only that, if you remove the cap, it's 15 yards.

And in a 60 Minutes interview, Lawrence Taylor said that he sent call girls to opponents' hotel rooms the night before games. I'm no defensive coordinator, but I believe that's called a pimp fake.

LSU CRUSHES ARKANSAS 55-24

The Tigers have an outside shot to vault over USC and into the national title game against Oklahoma, thanks to a brand-new BCS criterion: quality Mark Claytons.

By the way, who came up with the SEC tiebreakers, William H. Donaldson?