The Show

Before we begin, I'm a little confused about the NBA playoffs. This is a bye week, right?

SMARTY LEAVES DERBY FIELD PANTING

Thirty-nine-year-old jockey Stewart Elliot won in his first Kentucky Derby. To give you an idea how unknown this guy is, the only advertising on his silks was a KFC discount coupon sticking out of his back pocket.

A thunderstorm just before the race made bad conditions worse. I haven't seen that much mud fly since Richard Clarke testified before the 9/11 commission.

On the other hand it was nice to hear the phrase "sloppy track" and not have it refer to Marion Jones's joint checking account.

Different feel at this year's Derby. No Jerry Bailey, no D. Wayne Lukas, no Bob Baffert, no kids asking, "Daddy, what's a gelding?"

MLB ATTENDANCE UP 15%

And if it gets to 17%, you know what that means: Mandatory testing of mascots.

According to reports, BALCO president Victor Conte volunteered the names of 27 athletes who received steroids. And he can expand that list to 40 after Sept. 1.

Oakland's stadium is now known as McAfee Coliseum. But I'm not sure if this tradition is going to catch on: the seventh-inning virus scan.