What To Call Him?

When we told our friends about the names we had selected, it turned out that most of them were completely baffled, as we had feared, by Fugue. They were mildly fond of Artifice. The one name they really went for, to a man, was The Rouser. They said it had a stouthearted sound, like Man o' War.

Alas, we were too optimistic, and far too naive. When The Jockey Club screened our applications, it developed that there was already a Fugue in the files, sired, as we should have guessed, by the great Counterpoint. There was also an Artifice. There was even a Rouser, this being an obvious name, as we should have suspected, for one of the many sons of the sire Stimulus. We had to start all over.

For the Nahar-Beautician filly we wound up with our first choice of the new names that occurred to us—False Colors. For the Omission-Saremp Singer colt, The Jockey Club gave us our eighth choice. By that point in our list the connection between name and breeding had got a bit tenuous, but we like the name anyway: Laconic. (There is a faint connection there, if you work at it a while.)

Our pet, the Bernborough colt, got a name which requires a little explaining. When my son heard that The Rouser was unavailable, he was naturally dismayed. It is pretty devastating, at the age of 15, to lose your first great literary success, not to mention a chance to immortalize your favorite piece of rock 'n' roll. "Let's try all the combinations," he said. "Let's ask for The Rebel. Also Rebel Rouser. Also Rouser Rebel. We're bound to get one of them."

I could only say, "Well, I'm dubious."

My boy said enthusiastically, "That's it!"

"That's what?"

"An even better name. Dubious. Let's call him Dr. Dubious."

So the colt is Dr. Dubious, in honor of two other entertainers greatly admired at our household. You remember, of course, the old Smith and Dale vaudeville skit, Dr. Kronkite. ("Are you the doctor?" "Yes." "I'm dubious." "How are you, Mr. Dubious?") This was funny a couple of generations ago and will still be funny long after rock 'n' roll has vanished; so maybe it's just as well The Jockey Club turned The Rouser down.