Keeping Tabs On A-rod

BUSTED
The Post runs a photo of Alex Rodriguez with an alleged gal pal.

Just as British writer Christopher Hitchens hits best-seller list with book claiming there is no God, tabloid stumbles upon picture of A-Rod and friend outside Toronto strip club.

BACKGROUND
Tabloids say that slugger has been with this woman before.

Apparently what happens in Las Vegas stays on your hard drive. Post and Daily News run months-old stalkerish photos of A-Rod and friend in Vegas and Miami.

LIGHTNIN'-ROD
Everyone agrees the man has a knack for making news.

Trouble-prone star sunbathes in public, squabbles with Jeter, yells at third baseman. The guy's like Paris Hilton, though she does better with men in scoring position.

PRESSURE
This just in: New York City is reportedly a tough place to play.

It stinks when Michael Strahan's divorce and Carl Pavano's romantic problems crowd out important news—like Jason Kidd's divorce and Randy Johnson's love child.

GUESS WHAT
Boston isn't exactly an easy place to play, either.

To keep their faces warm on chilly night, Fenway fans wear masks that to some sick minds resemble what Post calls "cornfed Catholic school girl" seen with A-Rod.