Everyone In The Pool!

Except for Rick Neuheisel's NCAA tournament pool--put in $6,400, take home $4.5 million--most office pools are duller than slides of Dick Cheney's angioplasties.

So before you start xeroxing brackets, collecting cash and e-mailing everybody in the office again this year, why not put a little flavor in your office pool for once?

What you need is the Whackit Bracket--devised by my gambler buddy Two Down and overseen with an iron fist by our pool czar, Moodkill Miller, who, I can assure you, came out of the Big House no friendlier than he went in.

The Whackit Bracket is based on a point system. Wins mean nothing. Losses mean nothing. Only points count. Problem is, it's harder to get a point in the Whackit than it is for Ted Kennedy to graduate from Jenny Craig.

For instance, if your team wins but ...

1. you beat a higher seed, you get no point.

2. your team was a university beating a college, you get no point.

3. you didn't cover the point spread, you get no point.

4. you can see your shooting guard's electronic monitoring bracelet under his sock, no point.

5. you can't convincingly name the sex of your team's mascot, no point.