Yabba—dabba—doo!

Now Berman is prowling the studio, his face creased in disgust. "Who cares?" he says. "Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?"

Who cares about what?

"I never thought the press would ask Joe this crap. I mean, this is serious crap."

He plops down in front of an IBM Selectric and taps out a few lines. "How's this for an opening?" he says. "As Gary ( U.S. ) Bonds sang, "Way down the Mississippi down in New Orleans ....' "

What does that have to do with the allegations about the quarterbacks?

"Nothing, really," says Berman. "But since I'm in New Orleans , I thought I'd slip in some lyrics about the city. I firmly believe you do this stuff for yourself. If anybody else gets a kick out of it, it's a bonus."

But what about the drug controversy?

Berman mops his brow with his schmutz rag and says, "Just listen to what comes next: 'They call New Orleans the city that care forgot. Well, today the city forgot a lot more than care.' "

What do you mean by that?

"Huh?"