Ultimate mock madness

As the self-appointed, mythical general manager for all 32 NFL teams -- and someone drawing from a hypothetical talent pool deeper than Barry White 's voice -- I expected that the picks I made last week in my third annual Ultimate Mock Draft would provoke some heartfelt dissent.

Sitting in my home office and reading through the slew of e-mails questioning my sanity, sobriety and sexuality (and some others that weren't quite as flattering), I realize I may have underestimated the intensity of the criticism.

Now I know what life is like inside the war room.

Since we're talking about draft choices that don't actually exist, I'm not going to spend too much time breaking down the picking of specific players over others, except to issue this disclaimer: Rather than merely select the people whom I regard as the league's 32 most valuable, I attempted to get inside the respective heads of the decision-makers for each team -- and, yes, I spoke to some of those people before I came up with the list.

To borrow from Donald Sutherland in Animal House: I'm not joking ... this is my job.

Now, I probably find Milton as boring as you find Milton, so let's get to the good stuff:

FUTURES MARKET

"More a comment then a question: I think it's interesting that potential is more attractive than production. Reggie Bush last year was thought of as 'one of the best prospects to come out of the draft in 20 years.' Now he's going last in the first round and Adrian Peterson , who might not go in the top five of this year's draft, is 19th. I'm not saying that you are wrong, because it's your fantasy, and who am I to trash it? But its odd that people would rather dream on potential then take production. I'd rather have Frank Gore than both, but that's just me. Not to mention Larry Fitzgerald over Calvin Johnson and so on. Give me the proven star over the could be and should be any day." -- Jim Craven from Lethbridge, Alberta , Canada

That's a very good point, and I'm glad you brought it up. Personally, I agree that the Frank Gores of the world should be more attractive than the dudes who've never played an NFL down, but you'd be amazed at how many highly respected personnel people would go the other way. It's as if they've been in relationships with the established NFL players and become familiar with their corresponding flaws, while the fresh crop of draft-eligibles represents the dream mates who could provide them with true happiness. I know that sounds a little creepy, but when you think about it, so is the whole scouting thing in the first place. I'll leave you with this thought: Back in the '80s one general manager, referencing the compensation for unrestricted free-agent signings at the time, was quoted thusly: "I wouldn't trade two No. 1s for God."

YOUNG MAN BLUES