Fearless Football Predictions

With just over two months separating the end of the 2008 College World Series and the start of the 2008 college football season, college sports aren't out of the limelight for very long. With that in mind, we asked one of our experts to peer into his crystal ball during this down period and give us an idea of what might transpire in the upcoming season. Among the many things he predicts is a suprise entrant in the BCS national title game.

Check out our college basketball predictions as well.

1. I predict that trash bins at security checkpoints at Dolphin Stadium next January 8 will overflow with cheap plastic imitation cutlasses and faux prosthetic "hooks."

The profusion of buccaneer regalia will be the result of Texas Tech's stunning appearance in the BCS National Championship Game, to be played that night, in that venue. (In addition to his obsessions with Geronimo, rugby-union, chimpanzees, Daniel Boone and Donald Trump, Red Raiders head coach Mike Leach is also obsessed with pirates.)

2. I predict that title game will pit against each other a pair of guys who went clubbing together after the Heisman awards ceremony: Tech quarterback Graham Harrell (who threw for 5,705 yards and 48 touchdown passes in 2007) and James Laurinaitis, the Ohio State middle linebacker who spearheaded the nation's most dominant defense in '08.

3. I predict a phone call from an editor, because I really don't want to predict a Heisman winner.

4. I predict the Buckeyes will launch their run at a third-consecutive national-title game by taking down USC at the L.A. Coliseum on September 13 in what will be the lowest-scoring game of the season for both teams. Laurinaitis, fellow LB Marcus Freeman & Co. will stifle the Trojans' rushing attack, inviting first-year starter Mark Sanchez to beat them with the pass. He won't.

5. I predict Mike the Tiger will be listless and miserable in the 90-degree heat sure to accompany LSU's 4 p.m., August 30 kickoff against Appalachian State. I also predict App quarterback Armanti Edwards will outplay his Tiger counterpart, whether it's Jarrett Lee or ex-Harvard jayvee product Andrew Hatch. With the game moved from night time to mid-afternoon for TV purposes, LSU will lose some of its mojo, but not enough for App State to shock the world two years in a row.

6. I predict that, despite giving us our last two national champions, the SEC will be shut out of the title game due to its annual, in-conference fratricide. Aided by the absence of Gator-slaying Auburn on its schedule, Florida will get through October undefeated. But Urban Meyer will drop his second straight GFKATWLOCP (Game Formerly Known As the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party), as Georgia tailback Knowshon Moreno goes for 150-plus yards, despite being briefly separated from his helmet and senses in a SportsCenter-worthy collision with Major Wright.

7. I predict that Florida's crack sports info staff will compile a new statistic -- to be named "SYs" (as in SEE Ya!) or "PHMs" (as in, "Percy, Have Mercy!") to keep track of the number of defenders juked off their feet by Percy Harvin, who, I also predict, will suffer dehydration and require intravenous fluids after piling up 450 yards of total offense in the first half against The Citadel on November 22.